Are You Searching for a Relationship

Do we know what we are doing when it comes to modern relationships, or are we just being hi-jacked by primitive emotions?

There’s a scene in the 1996 movie ‘Jerry Maguire’, where Tom Cruise  famously says to Renée Zellweger, “You Complete Me”. It’s a dry your eyes romantic moment, but it’s at the heart of what goes wrong in relationships.

We are drawn to another person for a sense of completeness. We hope that this relationship will heal or fill an empty space in our life. And for a short time we are wrapped up in a cloud of ‘feel good’ hormones and everything looks and feels better. Then, our brain chemistry normalizes, reality comes crashing in, and we notice that the partner we chose to fill our void, is trying to make changes in us to fill their own. Welcome to codependency!

Modern relationships come in many forms; dating online or in person, cohabiting, marriage, divorce, single-parent dating, remarriage, to name a few.

I’ve experienced all of these and as a researcher and writer on self-leadership, I have a few pieces of advice for those of you who are still looking for ‘the perfect relationship’.

  1. Would you live with you? Before we can successfully be in a relationship with another person, we need to be comfortable with ourselves. We don’t have to be perfect, that’s not what self-esteem means. We need to be comfortable with our imperfections. We need to know what we want, need, value, and believe or how else will we authentically communicate this to a partner.
  2. Learn from the past, don’t repeat it. Your past relationships are not failures, they are part of the learning process to understand what you want, need, value, and believe. If it didn’t work, be honest with yourself about why that was and avoid repeating the pattern. For example, if you are looking for someone to fix, to make your feel better, and they leave you after being ‘fixed’ – there’s a good chance that will happen again.
  3. Understand that the only person you can change is you. People to grow and evolve together but only when they accept each other as they are. The fatal mistake in relationships is to try and change something in someone else. You can communicate how a behavior makes you feel, but the choice to change rests firmly with them. And saying, “If you loved me, you’d do this…” is manipulation 101 and never ends well.
  4. Don’t settle. For a relationship to last, it has to be physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual. We often try to settle for 2 or 3 out of 4. If the sex is great but you can’t enjoy a movie together because of a difference in intellect or education, then things are going to turn sour. If you can express your emotions with each other, but spiritually your values clash, then a schism is on the horizon.
  5. Communicate. This is the most fundamental of relationship advice – and the most powerful. Learn to authentically communicate your wants, needs, values and beliefs and listen openly to your partner without judgment. You are unlikely to be in relationship with your clone, and so there will be differences, but these conflicts can often be resolved by communicating in the following way; a) here’s what’s happening, b) this is what I feel, c) this is what I need, d) and so this I my request. The power of this 4-step communication strategy is that there is no blame. You are not making it your partners fault you have a feeling or an unmet need, but you are giving them an opportunity to adjust their perspective or behavior through a request.

The New Communication Experience Works

Well hello! By now you’ve hopefully experienced the new and improved eHarmony — there’s a lot of useful stuff to introduce but before we do, we’d just like to say one thing; you had everything to do with this.

That’s right. You spoke up and we listened. You told us what worked and what didn’t and we committed ourselves to go above and beyond, to think differently, and to take all our new research and turn it into actionable change that would make a difference. The end result was an entirely redesigned communication experience that we hope will make it more enjoyable and easier for you to find that special someone.

That being said, communication is key in any successful relationship. It is also vital in making the right first impression, which is why we’ve put so much time into updating our communication experience. Now, taking the first step feels a bit warmer and more natural in the Guided Communication process.

What is Guided Communication? It’s designed to help you get to know someone at your own pace; if you want more control of the conversation you can go with Quick Questions or you can skip this step and go directly to sending custom messages.

Sending pre-written Quick Questions that ask the hard stuff for you (but in a more welcoming way) efficiently gets to the heart of what you’re looking for. Quick Questions also takes the pressure off of you since the questions come from us. The goal is to help you learn more about someone, easier.

We provide fun yet meaningful questions for you to choose from, so you select the most important ones to ask. Then send them to your match. Your match will then choose from the pre-selected answers, making it a fairly quick process. Your match then gets to send you Quick Questions of their own. You can send as many Quick Questions as you want to. Oh — did we mention that the Quick Questions process is free? Yup! However, if you prefer to write your own answer to a Quick Question you must be a subscriber to do so.

How to Try and Get Him Back

Dear Sara: About a month ago, my boyfriend of two years broke up with me (I’m 30 and he is 31). It came as a heartbreaking surprise. I’ve been in several serious relationships, and this one seemed like a wonderful fit—loving, easy, drama-free. He took most of the steps to advance the relationship in the first year or so, and we had continued to deepen our bond since then.

He couldn’t really give a satisfying explanation for ending things, and seemed confused himself. We were living in a temporary apartment together (he recently moved to my city after finishing grad school) and were about to get a more permanent place, but he said that [he] was having doubts about the city we live in, the job he has, or what kind of lifestyle he wants, and that he needed some time on his own (single) to figure things out—which I suppose means he had doubts about the relationship, too. He’s also going to start therapy to try to work through some of these issues.

Your writing has helped me to understand that our breakup doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with me, and that looking for answers as to why it ended is probably futile (thank you!). I know I should probably wait to find someone who is truly excited to be my partner and have me as theirs. But I really love him and cherished our relationship, and I wonder if (after some time) I should ask him if he’d be open to trying again? Is there ever a time when it makes sense to “fight for it”? — H

Dear H: It might be true that your ex is just at a funny place in his life and will come back to you.

The problem is, I don’t think there is any way for you to know if that’s the case. More important, I don’t think there is much you can do to make that happen.

He has told you he needs time to sort things out, and that he needs to do that alone. So I don’t think there is any way for you to be part of that process.

But you can let him know the door is still open. I would do this in a very quiet way—liking something he posted on Facebook, or sending him a quick birthday message. You want to let him know that things are still friendly, that you aren’t holding a grudge. But you don’t want to put him on the spot. If he’s still working through all of this, he might not be ready to answer a direct question about trying again.

After that, I suggest doing what you can to move on. You’re still grieving this relationship, so it’s natural that at times you’re going to daydream and plot about getting back together. You don’t have to stop thinking about him cold turkey, but see if you can wean yourself off these thoughts. For example, if you find yourself fantasizing about your reunion, stop, take a breath and say to yourself “I’ll think about this later.” You can even set a time. “At 5 pm, after I’ve finished all my work, I’m going to think about him for fifteen minutes.”

Tips And Tricks For Making Use Of A Pay Day Loan

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Even if you could carefully budget your cash and strive to save up, occasionally there can be an unforeseen incident that will require cash easily. Regardless of whether a crash comes about or even your bill is a lot higher than typical, you never know if this could happen. Check this out article for tips about using payday loans smartly.

Simply how much you’ll get through the payday loan is affected by several aspects. Usually, whatever you make every month at the job will be the figuring out factor. Personal loan suppliers take a look at cash flow and figure out a maximum amount borrowed. Usually consider this into mind when deciding no matter if a pay day loan fits your needs.

Know what APR implies before agreeing to some cash advance. APR, or twelve-monthly proportion amount, is the amount of attention the organization charges about the bank loan while you are paying it rear. Although online payday loans are fast and convenient, compare their APRs using the APR billed from a financial institution or even your charge card organization. More than likely, the pay day loan’s APR will likely be much higher. Question exactly what the paycheck loan’s interest is very first, before making a conclusion to borrow money.

Payday advance professional services are common diverse. There are companies that can provide you with far better loan terminology than other companies can. Exploring in regards to the organizations located in your area can save you a lot of money, making it a lot less difficult that you can follow the phrases you agreed upon.

The phrase of most paydays loans is all about 2 weeks, so ensure that you can easily repay the loan in this period of time. Failure to pay back the borrowed funds may result in pricey costs, and charges. If you feel you will discover a likelihood which you won’t have the capacity to pay out it again, it is very best not to get the pay day loan.

In the event you don’t have the cash on hands as soon as your payday advance arrives because of, you might be able to work out monthly payments. Most pay day loan agencies are able to offer a a few day time extension. Do be aware that these extensions usually expense additional in service fees.

Charges which are tied to payday cash loans include many varieties of charges. You need to learn the interest amount, charges costs and in case you can find app and processing costs. These charges will be different involving distinct creditors, so be sure you consider distinct loan providers prior to signing any contracts.

If you request a supervisor at the pay day financial institution, make certain they are actually a manager. Paycheck lenders, like other companies, often have yet another colleague appear more than to be a fresh face to sleek more than a situation. Question if they have the strength to create up the first worker. If not, they are both not just a manager, or supervisors there do not have significantly energy. Directly looking for a director, is usually a better idea.

A really good payday advance suggestion is to locate a loan company that is eager to work with you ought to you experience troubles repaying the funds promptly. There are actually locations around that can give an extension if you’re struggling to repay the cash advance promptly.

Take into account every one of the payday loan options before choosing a pay day loan. While many creditors call for repayment in 14 days and nights, there are many loan providers who now offer a 30 day term which could meet your requirements better. Different payday loan creditors could also supply different payment alternatives, so find one that meets your requirements.

To economize toward your pay day loan, try out marketing things from your own home you never use any further via websites on the internet like auction web sites and Amazon . com. However, you might not feel you have many useful things to sell, you probably do. Examine your guide collection, compact disk selection, as well as other electronics. Even when you is only able to produce a few one hundred $ $ $ $, it could nonetheless help.

If you are self employed and trying to find a cash advance, anxiety not as they are still available. Since you most likely won’t use a pay stub to indicate proof of work. The best choice is to deliver a duplicate of your own taxes as proof. Most loan companies will still provide you with a bank loan.

This article needs to have given an thought on what to do. Talk about each of the phrases before you jump in a payday loan.

Construction Plants Function Most Effectively If Almost All Staff Speak the Same Technical Language

It is less likely one’s forebears, assuming they were to truly be quickly sent right into this kind of modern day era, would certainly know exactly what to make of the many items we need on a day to day basis which might be produced from plastic-type material. Exactly how would likely a person possibly commence to clarify the concept of plastic polymers to some person who’d never ever experienced electrical energy? These days many of us sit down on plastic material, have in our homes plastic, daily type words on our personal computers inside cases regarding plastic-type material, sip drinks through some sort of plastic, put on plastic-type material and even, on many occasions, go walking upon plastic. There are different grades of plastic-type material, it comes in various colours, strengths, finishes, and has got to end up being certainly one of one of the most adaptable elements ever before produced. The particular plastics industry at present will be one of the globe’s leading five market sectors, with regards to measurements and also breadth.

Elements made of plastic are typically cast, spun or even extruded within industrial facilities which might be especially equipped to that exact goal. A number of production establishments could make just about anything for which they have a schematic plan. Others are usually much less adaptable, and are dedicated to producing just one form of item, however it is typically likely to be a specific thing they are doing perfectly indeed. Clearly, it comes with an on-going necessity for personnel inside the plastic materials market. Many men and women obtain a first start by way of acquiring injection molding training classes along at the two year school level, and can go on to acquire a job that usually involves a firm that can take the time to increase and motivate their very own education with opportunities such as in-house scientific molding seminars.

Many scientific molding classes are able to be coached utilizing a simulator, which gives students a life-like adventure although that won’t entail the time, risk, waste, and so forth that such education might in the event that it were taking place in actual time. When you have a historical past within scientific molding training, the sky may be the limit for a person which recognizes the production process through the perspective for the plastic material itself, for they’re able to produce instinctive adjustments and read circumstances effectively as they are occurring, thus using excellent prudence plus producing the proper decisions during the time they approach their generation techniques within the plant. Typical training which usually unites virtually all staff in a location will enhance the product simply since it gives a common basis for correct communication among employees.

Make Certain Your Potential Consumers Learn About You

Company owners recognize they will have to put money into revolutionary solutions to bring in a lot more buyers. Numerous folks have seen so many commercials, billboards, and also other adverts they usually tune them out except if it’s something that actually captures their own curiosity. For this reason, company owners might want to look into mobile billboards in Las Vegas in order to advertise their particular business.

Mobile billboards will not be stationary and, in reality, happen to be on the side of a truck that drives around town. When individuals are strolling or even driving a car through the area, they cannot help but take note of the mobile billboard as it passes by them. Because it is mobile, it might reach a large number of probable customers in a brief amount of time and it is a progressive method of advertising that numerous individuals haven’t seen before thus it’s extremely likely they’ll pay attention to it. The mobile billboards are furthermore driven around during optimum hours to make certain they are viewed by as much individuals as is possible. Business owners who take advantage of this are likely to see a boost in buyers consequently.

If perhaps you’re trying to find a new advertising and marketing method to consider, explore Las Vegas mobile billboards right now. This might be just what you happen to be looking for and also can assist you to pull in a lot of brand new consumers.

Watch Out For Payday Loans And Their Potential risks

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It is not necessarily unusual for people to find they do not have the money to purchase a furnace restoration from the dead of winter months. They will often also require some $ $ $ $ to obtain a required auto maintenance completed. To be able to buy these eventualities, payday loans may possibly offer a option. Look at the write-up that follows to find out a little about the subject.

Before you take out that cash advance, ensure you have no other alternatives available. Payday cash loans could cost you a lot in service fees, so any other substitute may well be a far better option for your personal total financial predicament. Look for your mates, household and in many cases your banking institution and lending institution to determine if you can find every other prospective selections you possibly can make.

Prior to taking out a payday advance, be sure you understand the payment terms. These personal loans bring high rates of interest and tough penalties, and also the prices and charges only boost in case you are late building a transaction. Do not obtain financing just before fully analyzing and understanding the terms in order to avoid these issues.

Make sure to figure out everything you can regarding the loan company you are interested in. Don’t base your choice over a company’s commercials. Be sure you devote the required time investigating the firms, particularly check out their status with the Better business bureau and read any online critiques about the subject. If you utilize a firm by using a great status, the process goes easily.

Realize you are providing the pay day loan usage of your personal consumer banking info. That may be great once you see the borrowed funds deposit! Nonetheless, they can also be producing withdrawals from the accounts. Be sure you feel safe by using a company possessing that kind of use of your banking accounts. Know to anticipate that they will use that entry.

It is important to fully grasp all the aspects associated with online payday loans. It is not necessarily a no cost complete you still need to pay off the borrowed funds, and be well aware of the fees and expected schedules. Missing payment deadlines is a very high-priced oversight.

Be sure that your job will help you to be entitled to your cash advance. Loan companies generally require your 3 most recent pay out stubs coming from a dependable task so that you can personal loan serious cash. You may use payroll stubs to deliver this confirmation for the loan provider.

Tend not to obtain a personal loan for almost any a lot more than you can afford to repay in your after that spend period of time. This is an excellent thought to be able to pay out the loan back in whole. You may not wish to pay out in installments because the attention is really high it forces you to are obligated to pay a lot more than you obtained.

Ensure that you understand the total volume you can expect to need to pay. Everyone knows that payday loan suppliers cost debtors really high interest rates. But, pay day loan businesses also will assume their clients to spend other fees as well. All those processing costs are often revealed only in the small print.

Be sure you have your paper job if you are applying in a cash advance business office. To fill out a cash advance program, you need to show evidence that you are no less than 18 and your revenue is continuous.

When you are selecting a business to have a pay day loan from, there are several essential things to be aware of. Make certain the organization is listed using the express, and practices status suggestions. You should also search for any problems, or the courtroom process towards every single organization. Additionally, it enhances their status if, they have been in business for a number of several years.

Do not borrow more money than you can pay for to repay. Before you apply for a payday loan, you need to figure out how much cash you will be able to pay back, for example by credit a sum that your particular following income will handle. Make sure you are the cause of the interest rate way too.

Payday loans shouldn’t frighten you any more. Now you must ample details to create the right choice on whether or not, or perhaps not you should get a cash advance. With a little luck, make use of everything you acquired these days. Have the right selections when determining to acquire a payday loan. Best of luck within your long term efforts.

Learn Just How A Single Firm Is Endeavoring To Develop Calgary As Well As Precisely How You Are Able To Help

The area of Calgary has a number of structures that have not been utilized or perhaps refreshed in a great deal of time, taking away from the general quality of the town. One particular organization, nevertheless, will be focusing on ensuring the area receives the updated look it requires by simply spending money on structures similar to these, performing a variety of improvements, and after that leasing them to brand-new businesses to be able to help improve the area.

An individual who desires to invest in the city may do so by investing with a company that is working on improving the area. They may wish to make an effort to understand much more regarding the company, how it invests the money it gets, as well as exactly how an individual might gain a lot in time with their investments. By simply investing in a firm similar to this, they aren’t simply investing in structures. They’re in fact investing in the town in general and in the upgrades that could be produced to be able to make the location much better. It is not just about enhancing the look of the area, but about attracting brand-new businesses as well as making sure everybody who visits will love the area.

If perhaps a person wants to understand much more about this business as well as almost all they are working on, they may wish to take the time in order to discover more with regards to the Arlington Street Investments CEO. Finding the time to learn a lot more regarding Frank Lonardelli provides them with the opportunity to understand much more concerning why he’s so invested in this area, exactly what enhancements he has already carried out, and what improvements he wants to undertake later on. They are able to get a much better thought of if they desire to invest with the business to be able to work together with them on the advancements for the city by figuring out just what to expect as well as what’s recently been carried out.

If perhaps you are interested in investing not merely in property but in the complete city of Calgary, take some time right now in order to learn a lot more regarding the business which is doing as much as is feasible in order to help the city. Learn more about Frank Lonardelli and also everything he’s focusing on right now by visiting now. Together with all the information right here, you are able to understand far more regarding this business and also exactly how they’re trying to help.

Dating and the Single Parent Tips

Think dating is difficult? Try dating with a five-year-old or fourteen-year-old watching your every move. Suddenly your romantic life is immersed in the morals, values, and integrity you’ve established for your children. Can you hold fast to them or are you just talking out of the both sides of your mouth?

Every single parent must remember they are showing their kids how to date: what to look for in a man or woman, how to act, how to be treated, is sex before marriage ok, is a lot of sex with a lot of different people before marriage ok?

Children notice a strange man in mom’s bedroom, they notice a half naked woman in the kitchen in the morning. They’ll quiz you incessantly about your date, did you like the guy, do you think you might get married to that woman. They’ll also be loaded with opinions about your dates: be ready to hear not that just “he’s nice” or “she’s pretty” but “he looks mean” or “She doesn’t like me, I can tell.”

So there are some proven suggestions for loving, caring parents who for one reason or another find themselves back in the dating game.

  1. Ask yourself — how important are your kids to you? This is a serious question. “I love them to death,” isn’t a serious answer. “I love them so much I’m willing to put off any relationship for a year or two or three,” is a serious answer. I’m not saying that’s always necessary, but sometimes it is. God put the destiny of these young children in your hands, you can’t be willing to throw it out the window for the first good-looking regional manager that walks into your life.
  2. If your first relationship ended in divorce, remember your kids probably still love their parent. They don’t want to hear how much nicer this new woman is than their mother. For awhile they won’t want to hear how much more you love this new person.
  3. You don’t have to, in fact you shouldn’t, introduce every date to your kids. This will only confuse them and let them build up false hope about a person they unexpectedly like.
  4. Let every date know you have kids. This will eliminate future complications with prospective partners who absolutely aren’t ready for the responsibility of kids.
  5. Do not let your kids find half-naked strangers roaming around your house in the early morning.

Dating Past and Find a Great Partner

Without resolution, awareness, and acceptance, your relationship history may have a strong influence on your current dating life. With a past that feels heavy, heartbreaking or disappointing, dating in the present may feel very draining and trigger anxiety and fear.

Your past has a lot of influence if one of your greatest fears is having it be repeated. Therefore, you utilize behaviors designed to protect yourself, which makes it difficult to trust others and take chances toward intimacy and connection.

If the end of a previous relationship came as a shock or devastation to you, you may struggle to get close to someone new and approach dating with walls of emotional protection. If an ex betrayed you, you might be hesitant to trust a new partner and become fixated on determining if certain behaviors (for example, not responding to a text quickly) is a sign of cheating or future rejection. You might find yourself debating over giving into urges to check a potential partner’s email or phone for other clues.

If your past isn’t resolved, you may assume that the person you’re dating now will abandon you or break your trust just as your ex did, even if everything is going well in your current relationship. You may doubt if you are lovable, wonder what you have to offer, and beat yourself up about your relationship history and current singlehood. While these thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are understandable as they can be protective in nature, they represent the past remaining unresolved and dictating each moment.

Here are five ways to approach dating when you have had difficult relationship experiences in the past:

Reconstruct and modify the narrative in your mind for healthy closure

It is true that you can’t erase the past, but you can take control of how you think about it, which is what matters most and drives your behavior in the present. Spend time thinking about the story you tell yourself about your previous relationships, your ex’s, and breakups. What is the feeling that accompanies these thoughts and relationship stories? If your narrative feels very negative, is filled with anger, blame, resentment or fear, see if you can modify it to feel more neutral or positive. For example, can you find the silver lining? Can you focus on what you learned about yourself, your needs, and relationships instead of staying stuck? Can you find some space to create a new and improved version of an unhealthy or uncomfortable narrative by making modifications to the story you tell yourself? Rewrite your story and change any scripts that are not serving you well.

Watch your assumptions about the past

Most of what happens to us in life is not personal. This concept can be especially tricky to believe in the relationship world because relationships involve vulnerability and breakups can by nature feel personal. Also, unfortunately not all relationship endings involve healthy closure or communication. This can cause your mind to run wild with false ideas about what happened and believe stories that may or may not be true. Your brain may naturally want certainty and closure so badly that it will create answers to unresolved questions regardless of how factual they actually are. Therefore, it is important to watch your assumptions about why an ex treated you the way he or she did or why your relationship ended, as well as how your ex is doing now, especially if you are bothered by their current relationship status. Always remember that thoughts are not facts no matter how believable they may seem.

Get Over the Pain of a Breakup on Your Relationship

There is a literal pain that comes with the loss of a relationship: a sharp, palpable pain that most people feel at the point that their lower ribs connect. It’s a pulsing, weepy pain that digs into your diaphragm, and takes your breath away. It’s a pain that defies distraction, repels food, and throbs even through sleep.

For many broken-hearted people, this physical pain is one of the worst parts of going through a bad break up or divorce. For one thing, it scares them. They can’t make it go away, so they wonder when it will ever stop, or whether they will ever feel better.

Furthermore, maddeningly, it feels like contact with their ex is like the only thing that will stop the hurting. This is true even if they know intellectually that the relationship with their ex is toxic, and any contact will only bring more pain in the end. They still crave the temporary relief it might bring.

If you are in this aching, confusing place here are some tips to help you get through it:

1. Stop beating yourself up.

Most people who are going through this experience believe that there is something wrong with them for feeling the way they do. This is because there is a powerful, and false, myth circulating in our culture that you should just be able to “get over” a relationship without such massive pain and devastation.

Not true. Everyone who has lost a deeply cherished relationship goes through what you are going through. The people for whom breakups were easy simply weren’t bonded to that particular person as deeply as you were to your ex. You hurt so badly because you loved so deeply.

But ironically, the people who experience this sort of devastation often feel ashamed and like there is something wrong with them. So they hide / numb / suppress the pain, and try to get through it alone. You are not alone. And there is nothing wrong with you. On the contrary — you are good at bonding and attaching to others. That is a wonderful thing, in the context of a healthy relationship.

2. Reframe this as withdrawal.

Human beings are built to bond, and form extremely powerful attachments. There are physical systems in your brain and in your body that emotionally weld you to other people. These systems have a great deal in common with the physical systems of addiction. When your attachment bonds are broken, you go into withdrawal.

Heroin addicts, deprived of their fix, writhe sweating on their beds in physical pain, craving the only thing that will make it stop — even though they know, intellectually, it could kill them. They often literally trade their lives for the hope of a few more hours of peace in the arms of Morpheus.

Similarly, heartbroken people lay curled on their beds like shrimp, in the grips of pain that feels like being slowly impaled through their solar plexus. In their agony, they crave the temporary peace of contact with their ex, even though they know it will almost certainly only lead to more disappointment, rejection, and shame.

The difference is that heroin addicts know that they’re in withdrawal. And they know that if they can make it through a few days, it will get better. People suffering through the pain of a breakup have no such assurances, and just feel scared and helpless.

What to Look For on Emotional Abuse

When you consider what domestic violence is, you likely have those scary images in your head of an outraged partner physically attacking his wife or worse, their children, resulting in a frantic 911 emergency call. While – of course – violence is not only terrifying but damaging, the much more common type of abuse has nothing to do with someone using his hands, but rather, his words. In fact, therapists often say that many people (especially women) are emotionally abused every single day without realizing it.

“Emotional abuse can happen in any relationship once in awhile or continuously. I think that most people at one point in their lives have experienced some form of emotional abuse. Berating a person, yelling at them, calling them names, making them feel less than, all of this would constitute emotional abuse. At the base of emotional abuse is that the victim is made to feel bad about themselves. Emotional abuse can be dangerous if the person allows themselves to be abused, and then begins to put themselves down,” explains Dr. Dawn Michael, clinical sexologist and relationship expert.

You’re getting yelled at for nothing.

Every couple – no matter how much of a match you are for one another – has disagreements. Therapists actually say that arguing within a relationship can be healthy, as it helps you better communicate to your partner and can help widen your own perspective. But there’s a difference between bickering over who last walked the dog and your partner screaming at you inappropriately. “We call this the feeling of ‘walking on eggshells’ or in other words, when even the smallest mistakes you make has the person getting mad at you. This in turn can cause a person to become nervous around that person and make even more mistakes,” Michael explains. “This one is particularly insidious because if you do something small that they don’t like, your expectation would be that they either brush it off or say nicely not to do it, but a person who yells at the small stuff is usually a person that is controlling and has very little patience and therefore allows little mistakes to upset them. For instance, one time you don’t put the toothpaste cap on and they scream at you and tell you that you don’t care about them because you left the cap off.”

They say sly remarks that beat your confidence.

Though your boyfriend might tease you for the way you peel an orange or the crazy way you like to eat your french fries with ranch dressing and ketchup, an abusive partner will carefully say certain things that rub you the wrong way. Not only is it a tactic to always have the upper hand, those remarks overtime beat down your confidence and lead you to rely more solely on him for your own self-worth. “An emotionally abusive partner will put you down, instead of lift you up. Instead of complimenting you, they put you down, which can make you feel bad about yourself. They may say that if you were smarter you would have a better job, or if you lost weight people would like you more. It can even be putting you down to make you feel small so they feel better about themselves. This is not a nice person!”